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Dias Ex Machina Games • View topic - Great Game Quotes

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 Post subject: Re: Great Game Quotes
PostPosted: Wed Feb 13, 2013 2:21 pm 
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Conan: "Dude, that’s the crap they scrape off the barrel before making the actual beer!"
Desmond: "I don't care; it's so good!"
Conan: "There's a reason why it's two bucks for twelve!"

Mike: "We lost all our stuff when we went into space."
Brad: "Yeah, space will do that to ya."

GM: "You can have the use of my golem."
Conan: "Really? Great…what's it called?"
GM: "Kami."
Conan: "Tammy?"
GM: "KAMI!"
Conan: "Oh. I thought Tammy was a REAL bizarre name for a golem."
GM: "Actually, its name is Doug. Doug the Golem."
Brad: "Change its name to Chief Slap-a-hoe."
Mike: "…of the Slap-a-hoe Nation."

GM: "The dragon wants a sacrifice."
Conan: "Now, you told me that glider can unfold in one round right."
GM: "Hopefully."
Conan: "Ok…so I make sure its eyes are on me."
Grayson: "It's tracking my scent so I should just sacrifice myself."
Jill: "No, you guys are all necessary, I'm useless. I should die."
Conan: "Look, nobody's dying. I have a flight system."
Jill: "No, listen to me."
Conan: "This is a good plan; I might be able to lead it away from everyone else."
GM: "People, time does not slow down this much. Stop arguing and do something."
Jill: "You have that magic cloak. You get swallowed; use it to switch places with me. I'm dead—"
Conan: "IT DOESN'T SWALLOW ME. THAT'S NOT PART OF THE PLAN!"
Jill: "We're dead anyway…"
GM: "Stop trying to kill yourself, Jill!"
Conan: "Nobody has any faith in me."

_________________
“I despise stallions. I ride them as I ride an ugly noble women--smiles for appearances and politics only. Stallions. All personality with no depth. They prance like ponies and trot with arrogance. I always say, respect your mules most of all. A stallion may lead with the king and gather the eyes, but a mule will follow behind…and carry your kingdom.”
Tsarevick Kazaan
Amethyst D20
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 Post subject: Re: Great Game Quotes
PostPosted: Sun Apr 14, 2013 11:28 am 
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Conan: "There are two targets he could attack, both equal distance, the human or the dwarf."
GM: "He attacks the dwarf then."
Grayson: "What?!"
GM: "What's your AC?"
Grayson: "That's discrimination?"
Conan: "What's your AC?"
Grayson: "Cock."
Mike: "What's your AC without armor?"
Grayson: "I have my armor on."
Mike: "How could you have your armor on? We weren't allowed to carry anything with us."
Grayson: "Because I never take it off."
Mike: "…You're gross."

GM: “There have been many smart people. Einstein…Newton….that wheelchair guy…calculus….Bill Nye.”

Conan: "We're all just basically bacon-wrapped straws."

Conan: "If anyone asks, I am worthless AND insane, and I don't like anybody."

Jill: "I go to my room."
GM: "Your mother's servants have kept your room since you left. Everything is clean; all the clothes you've left are pressed, including the noble clothes."
Conan: "Awww, you're one of those worthless rich kids."
GM: "And they bring in hot water and salts for the bath and take your adventuring gear to be cleaned."
Jill: "This is the reason why I left…"
Conan: "Desmond lived in a place without water, hunted down by giant tree monsters. Grayson was a slave. I fought space gods. You lived in a giant house and yet your life is AWFUL."
Desmond: "My home was an all-terrain vehicle. I miss it."
Grayson: "I miss my donkey."

_________________
“I despise stallions. I ride them as I ride an ugly noble women--smiles for appearances and politics only. Stallions. All personality with no depth. They prance like ponies and trot with arrogance. I always say, respect your mules most of all. A stallion may lead with the king and gather the eyes, but a mule will follow behind…and carry your kingdom.”
Tsarevick Kazaan
Amethyst D20
Image
http://www.diasexmachina.com


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 Post subject: Re: Great Game Quotes
PostPosted: Sat Jun 01, 2013 11:57 pm 
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Posts: 1284
Mike: “Well, what's the last thing you remember?”
Conan: “Well…this! Having this stupid conversation and standing here talking in circles with idiots like you!”

Conan (referring to Grayson): “You'll have to excuse him, he doesn't speak any language.”
Grayson: “I speak yes, we are!”
GM: “Ehhwhat?”

Grayson: "I use the civilian as cover and order him to get to safety."
GM: "That sounds somewhat insincere."
Conan: "So what, you gonna hold up two babies in front of you as you walk through the hail of bullets, screaming "save the children!"

_________________
“I despise stallions. I ride them as I ride an ugly noble women--smiles for appearances and politics only. Stallions. All personality with no depth. They prance like ponies and trot with arrogance. I always say, respect your mules most of all. A stallion may lead with the king and gather the eyes, but a mule will follow behind…and carry your kingdom.”
Tsarevick Kazaan
Amethyst D20
Image
http://www.diasexmachina.com


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 Post subject: Re: Great Game Quotes
PostPosted: Tue Jul 30, 2013 12:10 am 
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Posts: 1284
Mike wakes up Conan
Conan: "What?"
Mike: "I can't sleep, so you can't sleep."
Conan: "What do you want?!"
Mike: "That demon girl is in my dreams."
Conan: "Well, you shouldn't have had sex with her."
Mike: "It needed to be done."
Conan: "I warned you. I explicitly told you don't do it!"
Mike: "Someone had to; she had something we needed."
Conan: "Yes, someone had to do it, which means you can't complain when you choose to do it. I'm sorry you got laid!"
Grayson (now also up): "I'm honestly a little envious."
Mike: "She gave me a warning."
Conan: "You talked to her, didn't you? What did you say?!"
Mike: "Umm…Nothing?"
Conan: "You go the #$&@ back downstairs and leave me the @#$& alone!"
Jill (now also up): "It's four in the morning; why is everyone screaming?"
Conan: "I am woken up constantly by the screams of people I have killed or gotten killed. I don't need this @#$% TO! I HAVE MY OWN PROBLEMS!"
Desmond: "Am I off watch now?"
Conan: "YOU CAN GO TO SLEEP NOW, DES, CAUSE EVERYONE'S UP NOW!"

Jill: "Why are we doing this quest? This wasn't our quest; it was Osvaldo's."
Conan: "Because I don't have anything better to F$%#ing do…other than getting hunted down!"

GM: "How much will you give me to read that scroll?"
Conan: "We already paid the other one fifty."
GM: "And what do I get?"
Conan: "I assume the fifty from the other one."
GM: "Ummm…ok."
Desmond: "Who was that other person, then?"
Jill: What's the big deal, she's eight years old, just give her some money."
Conan: "FINE, I BEAT HER IN THE FACE WITH A SACK OF PENNIES!"

_________________
“I despise stallions. I ride them as I ride an ugly noble women--smiles for appearances and politics only. Stallions. All personality with no depth. They prance like ponies and trot with arrogance. I always say, respect your mules most of all. A stallion may lead with the king and gather the eyes, but a mule will follow behind…and carry your kingdom.”
Tsarevick Kazaan
Amethyst D20
Image
http://www.diasexmachina.com


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